Old stuff that's just Dust in the grey matter

January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May03
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003

This year just started. What do you wanT? heh.

JANUARY 2003:
1.3.4 :: 12.22
Welcome to the New Year of 200 and FREAKIN 4! That's right, I said FOUR! Do you remember being a young doofus thinking how far away 1999 was!??! I do. Now I'm four years past that. Never thought I'd live this long. I think MAYBE, just MAYBE I should start taking better care of myself and then it won't suck when I'm old. Wait, too late... oh well. If you happen to remember your dreams, doesn't happen to me much, but check This out. I liked this template so the colors, content and pictures will be changing soon. I considered building one from scratch, but since there are already a lot of people who are giving this stuff away for free. I figured... why not use it. Hope ya'll like it.

1.6.4 :: 7.04p
You ever notice that sometimes one little sentence will get your brain going? One PERSON can crack a joke and it'll lead to 20 more on the same line? Sometimes it's just because you're dressed like an Eskimo or ask if you believe in Fate and Superstition. THat's about all it takes to make you start thinking about thinking. When someone asks about superstion I have to remind them that I play baseball and craps. Of COURSE I have superstitions. I know they're stupid and aren't really based on any scientific facts. But I still have them. I hop over the white line when getting on the field. I wave at the outfielder (Hi OJ, Hi Sony, Hi Keri). And I make sure to laugh at myself because I'm a goob. I am NOT however a FATALIST. Someone who believes their life has a specific plan and no matter what you do, it'll still be the same. My life has no plan. Something happen because they HAD to, and some things happen because I'm a dumbass and made them happen. I think people like to blame the bad things on fate and the good things on their own brilliance. I like to blame it all on Karma. I realized today that I don't believe in "what goes around, comes around", but I believe in Karma... that's very contradictory. I just realized that today. yup, that's right, I realized I'm an idiot. Took me long enough eh? Gonna end my self involved one sided conversation now.

1.24.4 :: 1.55a
Why? That is the question tonight america. There are NOT enough people who ask WHY? And I KNOW what you're thinking.."why not"? The anwer to that is 'shaddup'. We as americans and people in general are sometimes worried about shaking up the norm. Or the 'status quo'. Now I know we ALL like to think that we're nOT like our neighbors. That we HAVE original thought and ideas. But the more I talk to people and ask them their opinions, the more I hear the same damn Answers. There's nothing wrong with being agreeable. There IS something wrong with bending over and not even asking for a Kiss first. We (and I mean I) sometimes follow a rule for no GOOD reason. There's so much power in a piece of paper strategically placed. Rules that are treated as iron clad but are just pieces of plastic.
There was a study once done by a psychology class where they posted a sign on a student bulletin board that stated simply, 'Do not post anything here'. The sign stayed up ALL semester and NOBODY used that section of the board. That small note. There was nothing authoritative about it. We have a habit of inferring actual power. We TRULY have to knock that shit off and start asking 'why? Why is that sign there? Who put it up? And WHY do I have to follow your random rules? And even though I'll complain about this, I will STILL enjoy some things that are mainstream. I just hope I have enough independent though to say WHY do I think this is so cool? Yet you still suck? hehe

February 2003:
2.1.4 :: 10.40
I have no idea why I'm awake right now. I'm actually Very sleepy. My eyes are tired, yet here I sit to type more nonsensical-ness. Then again, why else would you come here but to hear me rant about stupid shit? Just wanted to give you my asshole opinion about this years superbowl commercials and one of my favorite sports.

First off, the commercials sucked. They were full of so much asshattery that I can't even recall a single ONE. You would think that the people who get paid MILLIONS could come up with at LEAST one commercial to give me something to talk about 2morrow at work. Could be that I just missed it.

Now, on to more important things. One of my favorite sports is bullriding! Yeaup, that's what I said. Guys strapping themselves on a bull and trying to stay on for an entire 8 seconds without yelling 'help' or peeing their pants. (which is probably what I would do). These guys are STRONG, Athletic, Fast and most of all TOUGH. I saw guys tonight who were run over by 2000lbs of beef and they still managed to run awayl. They ALSO don't get paid if they don't WIN. What OTHER sports can you risk injury to the point of DEATH and not even get PAID? That's why I admire these guys. They do things that most people can't and they can't even claim to love the money all the time. The bullfighters that keep them protected are also boderline crazy and brave at the same time. My kinda guys.

The SONG selection just kills me sometimes. I'm all for having fun and acting like a dork when I'm out, but there are some things I just won't do because I'll look like last place in a special olympics race. My BIGGEST complaint is when they play GOOD songs and expect us (mainly me) to dance to them.

'But what songs SNap?' well, lemme tell ya. Great songs like 'back in black' by AC/DC. 'pour some sugar on me' from Def Leppard. I LOVE those songs. I'm pretty damn sure when they were in the studios back in the late 70's and early 80's they weren't thinking. "this will be a great song to DANCE to". That was a song to sit back. Throw your devil sign in the air and scream along. THEN I see people out on the dance floor TRYING to DANCE to a nice hard angus young guitar riff. I wanna walk out there and drag their rhythmless ass back to a booth and pat them on the head for not understanding what they look like. Maybe they're poor and can't afford a mirror. I really just need it to stop because I DON'T understand it. I ..JUST...DON'T.

2.9.4 :: .48a
Sometimes when I hear a good indian joke, I don't have anyone to tell. I mean, I can TELL them the joke. I know they just won't understand unless I explain why it's funny. Luckily, most people are smart enough to get the joke. But there are some small things like, 'what's 4ft tall and a mile long?' ----- a Hopi Parade! Those kind of jokes I just can't tell over and over again without some history lesson on the Hopi tribe. I know I'm just complaining a bit, but that's one of those small things that growing up on a reservation and living in a 'big city' make you notice. Stil, One of the BEST things is telling people about what it's REALLY like growing up on the reservation. The funniest thing is when I tell people how I grew up, and then tell em, that people THOUGHT my family was rich. I had 3 sisters and 1 brother. I didn't even have my own room for the longest time. When I finally DID get my own room, it's because I helped BUILD IT! How many people can say that? According to the last census the native american population makes up 1-2 percent of the nation. I know we always want more of a voice, but with that small a percentage. We have to understand that a president doesn't really have to give a rat's ass about our votes. I know they can go to arizona and get a good populace of indians, but politically, we need to stop battling within. Our voice is small enough as it is. I've noticed how small it is out here in Missouri. I just hope my stories inform more people than just that person.

2.11.4 :: 6.21p
Alright, I didn't want to get into this, but society is gonna make me warp your squishy heart. In case you haven't guessed it, we're talking Valentines day. That horrible of bogus holidays. I don't even LIKE giving it the satis-fucking-faction of calling it holiday. Call me bitter if you must, but I don't enjoy this 'celebration' of candy and red.

First off, St. Valentine was KILLED back on Feb 14th. Do you know when any other saints were killed? Why don't we celebrate when their heads were stuck on a stake with a 'special' day?! That's just a piece of my complaint. My biggest problem is that MEN, yes MEN are EXPECTED to BUY THINGS for their women? WhY? (as goes the best question in the world), "WHY!?". Who said we HAVE to? And if ANYONE tells you we don't have to, then I dare you to stand in a room full of women and tell them you have NOTHING planned for v-day. They will ALL start telling you that you MUST do SOMETHING! again.. WHY? Because some intangible reason someone made up eons ago? Because it's the ONLY time men do something for their women? Oh REEEE..... EALLY? By THAT rational, Men can do something ONCE a year and be ok for the other 364 days! You know that's not gonnna happen.

I really don't have something PERSONAL against a flying obese kid with bee wings, but cupid doesn't know shit. Women already hold much of the power in the world, and any woman who DOESN'T know that, does not revel in her own gloriousness. Our mates (men and women) should not NEED to be reminded to do nice things for the ones we love. If it takes a marketing campaign involving bears eating chalky candy with nougats of guilt, then shame on you.. shame on us. All of us.

I will spend time with mine when I CAN. I will appreciate her when she needs it. And I will buy her things, when she stops EXPECTING it. The only things we SHOULD expect is honesty, love, patience and time. Nothing that can be proven, sold, or bought on one day a year. cupid can suck a fat one.

2.15.4 :: 9.48a
Did any of you people see the grammys? See Outkast's performance with Earth, Wind and Fire with George Clinton and Parliament Funkdelic? I did, I sat, bobbed my head and enjoyed the performance. Well, this story came out of Albuquerque.
(Albuquerque-AP) -- American Indians across the country are angered by a performance by the hip-hop group OutKast during the Grammy Awards ceremony in Los Angeles.
A member of the group, Benjamin, and some women danced around a big green teepee while wearing war paint, feathers and fringed costumes.
Albuquerque record producer and musician Tom Bee was nominated for this year’s Native American Music Grammy. He was sitting in the audience during the OutKast performance Sunday.
He says it was degrading.
The Oneida Nation and a former Miss Indian World have criticized the performance.
The San Francisco-based Native American Cultural Center is calling for a boycott of OutKast and their record company.
The center has also filed a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission.
OMFG! That's right, oh MY FUCKING GAWD! I talked to a BUNCH of people who saw the performance and TV and when I mentioned this to them they said "what!?!" EXACTLY. WHAT!?!? Have you people NEVER SEEN Parliament funkdelic? Did you know that MOST people didnt' even NOTICE the people dressed as indians? Did you KNOW that there has ALWAYS been someone dressed up like an indian for parlaiment funkdelic? People didn't complain about it in the 70's did THEY!?!?!t. MOST people didn't see it as degrading. I'm SURE they weren't out there thinking "Let's make fun of all the indians by doing this". It wAS a sHOW. We were ALL enjoying it as such. When people start bitching about shit like this it just GIVES IT STRENGTH! Who the feeble mind that this DEGRADED!?!? If random people can make you feel that way then it's YOU that has the problem. This could've just went on past. Everyone woulda waved at the parade, picked up their candy and left. but NOOOOO, the "Groups" and "Centers" are not HELPING anything by doing this.
Godammit people where the fuck do we get off thinking it's all about US! I've listened to outkast for years! I've listened to George Clinton Longer than that, (by there way, there's usually someone dressed up as a baby, who's gonna speak for them?). I'm so fucking ashamed that some people are making a big deal about this. I liked the performance. I don't feel degraded. And please take out the AP report line "American Indians across the country"... that's not me. I don't give power to things that don't need it. I'm so pissed right now. I need a spork and hammer.

2.17.4 :: 9.20p
One of my best friends send me this e-mail and I consider it a compliment. THough most of you will think I'm nuts. He called me... and I quote
"Mr. I don't give a fuck. Screw you it's your own damn fault. If I could get away with it I would. You knew I was like this when you met me. If that's how you got me why did you expect me to change"
Now, a lot of people might take offense to something like that. I think he just happens to know that I am a WYSIWYG kinda guy. Always have been, probably always will be.
In the middle of all his mind numbery he managed to spout off some wisdom and actually agree with me. After all the Outkast stuff and the stupid shit we worry about, he GETS it. (by the way, why are we make outkast a political pundit and scapegoat for native american problems?). Anyway, Bux asked these REAL questions in his inspiring little diatribe..
"Why do I have to wait longer for service in restaurants, stores, etc. I have to worry about funding from the federal government that their forefathers agreed to provide in exchange for land. I have to worry about educating my children. I wonder why Chaney's former company gets the big contract to repair things damaged in a war that was ordered by his boss. What I think is happening is that it is easier to forget responsibility. They can give us the little things like apologies but what about the things that matter."
Thank you. I have more important things to worry about than a grammy winning artist on stage. I liked their music. They never said anything hateful about anyone. Let's PUHLEZE think about where we should have thing RIGHT. Stop bitching about mindless things that are meant to entertain. The sad thing is, we (and I mean indians and the american public) BUY into it. They wave a shiny nickel in front of us while stealing our wallet. Step away from the light! It'll turn into your doom when you realize it's just a big ass bug zapper. Can I squash this now? I've already given too much creedence to something I HATE giving attention to. Dammit Snap, SHUT UP! I'm done.. 'sexual chocolate!'

2.26.4 :: 7.01p
Talking to one my friends from work, (who by the way calls me butthead and asks what I'm going to break today), we started talking about the difference between guys friendships and girls. I know I'm not the first, and I won't be the last to say this, but they are WAAAAY different. I don't know a lot of girls who have friends they've known since they were like 4th grade. I use that example because some of my best friends, I've known that long. They're STILL my friends. I'm not a girl, I don't understand why it's a girl/guy thing. I've never understood why female friendships don't last like guys do.. maybe someone can explain it to me someday. Carlos Mencia once said it's because guys SACRIFICE for their friends.
You never see a girl sleep with the fat ugly guy just so her friend can score. ONLY guys do that. You NEVER see a girl make that kind of sacrifice. Again, this is not my line. I wish is it was, Carlos said it.. Carlos Rules.
We also managed to talk about the stupid college classes we had to take. It's good to know that most of the crap I went through wasn't just because I'm wierd. Apparently, computer guys have similar experiences. Except I was a total loser. I can probably win that argument any day.
There was more that I wanted to write about, but 2morrow I'm flying to Vegas and I'll be there til monday. Hope to see my sister get married and run amuck - amuck with my brother. Sorry ya'll can't be there, I'm gonnna shut up now.

March 2003:
3.2.4 :: 9.53p
This weekend was a BLAST. Well, let's not say BLAST because I'm sure I've done vegas better than that. Not sure it'll get better than the y2k new years celebration. THAT was a madhouse. I gotta do that again when the year 3000 comes around. I took a ton of pictures but I'm saving most of them for my private collection. HERE is the 15 pics that I will ALLOW you to see.

Everytime I'm in Vegas there's usually ONE thing I WANT to see. Or WANT to do. Once I do that. I really don't care. The odd thing about this weekend (well besides my sister getting married and Elvis WASN'T there), was that I had to actually make decisions this weekend. Anyone that knows me, knows that I SUCK at making decisions. But with all the people that were there, someone had to get the ball rolling. I got to see my Aunt Karen and Uncle Arthur. My cousins. One of my cousins (Paul) was opening for a concert out there. Headlining that show was Lil Kim, Busta Rhymes and DMX. So I was damn proud of my cousin for opening for such a big act. I was damn upset that tickets cost $65.

Other than that. The weekend was good. Had Vegas pay for itself and almost came home with the same amount of money I left with. If you're going to Vegas, take your friends (not your parents). Plan one night out at a NICE club. And spend $50 on a good show. The rest will take care of itself. Well. Until you lose $100 a day at the tables. Just make sure your dealer speaks english and doesn't just take all your money without a smile.

I don't mind if you take my money.. at least pretend that SOMEONE enjoyed it. Remember the most important rules..

The house ALWAYS wins

The drinks are never really free

She doesn't REALLY WANT what's in your pants... just what's in your pockets.

Lesson's over. nite.

3.6.4 :: 3.57p
I heard a new favorite quote to live by today. 'What do you expect us to die from? Old Age?!? I like that one. I think I'm going to adopt that one whenever someone asks me why I'm doing something stupid.
There are always times in your life when someone thinks you're smart. I believe smart to be a relative term. 'smart' is a misnomer in fact. Smart compared to what? Smart at what? Some days I actually know the answers to the questions being asked. Some days, I don't know how I managed to dress myself. There are a LOT, a LOT of things I do NOT know. Just clueless. So when someone calls me smart, I want to ask them about all the things THEY know that I don't. Like I said, smart is all relative. Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit said it being smart sometimes depends on what part of the country you happen to be standing in at the moment. This is also the same for stupid. When I call someone stupid or even THINK someone is stupid, it's usually due to their inability to LEARN new things no matter how many times you show them.
Granted, I've had to be shown or told how to do something more than once, but I HAVE learned it. If a person can't pick up on that, then I have a right to call them stupider than a lab rat. (get it? stupider isn't a word?...ah nevermind). Monkeys/dogs/dolphins and many other animals have the ability to learn a pattern. But being stupid is usually a choice.
People try to use stupid as a cop out to not making the effort. People use stupid as an insult. If you realize that we're ALL stupid... It's really not a good insult. Another of my favorite quotes goes something like. 'it's not useful to you know what you know, it's more important to know, what you don't know'. Rememeber that the next time you THINK you're smarter than .. well..... me... heh.

3.11.4 :: 8.11p
SOMEONE finally said it. I wish I could take credit for saying it.. but it wasn't me.. "There is nothing, absolutely nothing on this green earth that you can eat drink, sniff, inject or rub on yourself that can make you hit 700 home runs in the Show."
Thank you VERY much. Anyone who will complain about how the baseball records will be 'tainted' because there is no testing in baseball, please read THIS and tell me you don't agree with how records will ALWAYS be considered tainted or ruined somehow. I don't care what you think about Barry Bonds. I don't care if he IS a jerk. Babe Ruth was an alcoholic, nobody mentions that. Ty Cobb was a blatant racist.. he's still a damn good baseball player. People always push their own values on someone they don't agree with. I don't want to get into the reasons Pete Rose should be in the Hall of Fame. I don't want to explain why the some Vikings with better STATS aren't in the hall of fame because those are bigger than this space arguments.
One of these days I will jump into that on these pages. Right now, I'm just angry that people are complaining about steroid testing in baseball for all the wrong reasons. I hope Barry beats Hank Aaron. I hope people realize what he has to go thru with every at bat. I hope for a lot of things. Guess that makes me the eternal cynical optimist. Sure I wish for the best... but chaos theory rules and life is wierder than fiction.
also.. more movies have been torn up HERE . I got some free pass thing to go watch The new Johnny Depp movie tonight but my sister got home late and I didn't want to drive back across town with a ticket that says 'seating is not guaranteed'. So I missed out. It's ok though, I caught a nap and feel much better now.

3.18.4 :: 7.04p
I was talking the other night about Artists that Are in the rock and Roll Hall of Fame and artists that SHOULD be in the Hall of Fame. A few days ago they inducted one of my FAVORITE artist.. Prince! Yes, that's right, Snap is a Prince Fan. I have been ever since 1999 (the album, not the year). Soon after Purple Rain came out and I was hooked again. Purple Rain is one of my favorite albums of all time. Most people don't like Prince because he's such a freak. I say, his freakiness is what makes him so great.

Most people have never heard the "gold Experience" album and that thing kicks mucho hiney. A lot of people stopped listening to him because they didn't like 'Graffiti Bridge' or 'Sign O the times', but not me. I KNEW prince had more in him. The album he released in 1999 called 'Rave un2 the Joy Fantastic' was actually a damn good piece of work. Again, most people don't know about it. There are always artists that will stick out in your mind from a certain time.

I hear songs like 'sad eyes' by Robert John or 'Blue Bayou' by Linda Ronstadt and it reminds me of doing housework on sunday mornings. I heard an old 80's song that reminds me of sorting thru comic books in my room. Reminded me of the little Tyco tracks I had sitting on a piece of plywood. I couldn't tell you why music transcends you into certain times, but for me, it's a HUGE part of my life. One of my best friends said he remembers waiting for his mom in the car when he was a kid and only having AM radio. I love hearing those stories and if I could get my comments to work, I'd listen to 'my dad would play that song over and over', now when it plays.. I think of him' stories.

Some people will get where I'm coming from. Other people won't know know until that song they haven't heard in years comes on. It makes music more beautiful than notes and chords.. it's forgetten memories. nite

3.25.4 :: 6.52p
I didn't write this, just pushing it along. ----Recently this country marked the second anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. I keep hearing that this was the worst terrorist attack to happen in this country, but while my heart goes out to the dead, their families and those who are forever scarred by these events, there have been millions of people murdered in this country by terrorists.

It would be impossible for me to list all of the acts of terror our People have faced, but I want to mention a few of them because our People are also worthy of remembrance.You won't find many monuments to these, the unquiet dead. But their bones and blood make up the soil where your shopping centers and highways now stand. Where is their memorial? It is in the hearts of those who remember. Today I remember:

The thousands of Cherokee, Creek, Choctaw, Seminole & Chickasaw People who suffered untold agony during the forced removal from their homelands in the 1830's. Innocent men, women and little children perished in concentration camps or froze and starved to death on the Trail Where They Cried.
The 90 women and children who died in the Bear River Massacre in southeastern Idaho.
The 200 Cheyenne men, women and children who were slain at Sand Creek in eastern Colorado by the US Cavalry led by Col. John Chivington, a Methodist minister who ordered his men to "Kill and scalp all, big and little; nits make lice."
The 200 murdered Blackfeet women and children who died at Maries River in northern Montana and the other 140 People who were left to freeze to death in the January cold.
The 103 Cheyenne women and children who were butchered on the Washita River in western Oklahoma.
The 200 to 300 Sioux who were slaughtered under a flag of truce at Wounded Knee, South Dakota.
The 500 Sauk and Fox Indians led by Black Hawk who were massacred by militia forces while trying to negotiate a surrender.
The Yuki's and other tribes of Indians in California whose populations declined from 11,000 to less than 1000 because white men wanted the land to search for gold. Organized Indian hunts were held on Sundays and our People were killed for sport.
The little children who were kidnapped from their homes and forced to attend BIA schools. Many of them died alone and lie in unmarked graves.
From the small pox, measles, typhoid, cholera, diphtheria, TB, and VD epidemics brought to us by the white invaders to the continued genocide still being waged against us, we know about terrorism.

And I remember.

3.28.4 :: 5.45p
Ya wanna know what Snap is TIRED of? I'm so damn tired of people blaming TV and videogames for the violence of today. I think it's a COP OUT. It's an easy target for when someone acts stupid. Blaming TV for Violence is like Blaming Seatbelts for car accidents. There was ALWAYS violence on TV when I was growing up. Most of the cartoons I watched contained violence. There was a guy here in Kansas City who had a collection of weapons, shot an EMT and blew up his own HOUSE and he was 62 years old! I'm pretty sure he didn't grow up playing Grand Theft Auto. I'm pretty sure he doesn't KNOW what GTA is!

I play video games that involve jedi's and wookies. They use guns, swords, lightsabers.. etc.. and I have YET to commit a violent act because of it. I remember watching Nightmare on Elm street and 'Jason' movies growing up and I STILL don't really want to dismember the next half naked camper I see. There is a line the must be drawn. Parent's SHOULD know what they're kids are playing and making sure they UNDERSTAND that carrying a gun and stealing a car is WRONG. If they don't know THAT,there's something wrong with the kid or the parent. Millions f people play these games.. millions of people are not killers. Yet it's STILL to blame. Some people interpret all this data and media coverage differently. Kids are probably smarter now than I was. (which really isn't saying much). If some kid sees a cartoon duck drop a safe on a cartoon bunny and wonders if that'll work his teacher.. that KID needs some help. The cartoon doesn't need to be re-written.

All this blame society CRAP is really getting on SNAP's nerves. If everyone could understand that they're only INTERPRETING what's right for the rest of us.. we'll be fine. Snap wants to see more boobies on TV. Snap wants to know why they can show me heart surgery and nails being driven into a kneecap but I get warned when a show is using fake blood. Snap is confused with all the sex controversy while I'm trying to figure out what the viagra commercial is all about? Why is that man throwing a football through a tire? Does the tire represent something? Shouldn't women be annoyed by that connotation? Or was it janet's boobie that really bothered them?

Can asshats just pick a side and remember what they're arguing about? Are you gonna turn off Snap's discovery channel now? Someone should really stop Snap before he says anything else stupid.. er... more..stupider.. uhh.. you've heard him. skater...

3.30.4 :: 8.12p
Snap's knee is TORE UP. My buddy Tim is supposed to be here this weekend and Snap's knee was feeling stronger, so like a dumbass, he decided to go to the gym and see what his knee could and couldn't do..He could run right, stop, hit the pullup.. He could run straight, hit the brakes and shoot the "J".He could run and dribble toward the basket and as long as he could hop off 2 feet.. he was feelin good.. then.. he learned he CAN'T go left and hit the HARD brakes. He found that out the HARD way. If you've ever hurt your knee, then you probably know what that feels like. When he was on the ground trying to dig a hole into the court with his face, fingers and other leg. Apparently this helps to stop the pain in the bad knee. After he writhed around like a worm on a skillet for a bit and some guys asked if he was 'ok'..(as if the sweat and the grimaced look wasn't enough). he was able to stand and SLOWLY walk out of the gym.
Snap has a doctor's appt on wednesday. Either Snap is a wuss, and he just hurt it bad enough to complain about.. or it's really tore up. For Snap's sake and all ball players.. let's hope he's just a wuss and will be okay to go by this summer.
Tim once said "I'll stop playing ball when they drag my carcass off the court". THat's admirable. That's when Snap will call it quits. When the body says it can no longer do it.. RIght now.. the body is SCREAMING that. Snap will considers this a minor inconvenience. Snap is old, but he will be back. THere is too much ball to be played. Too many Jumpers to drop in someone's eye. Too many dimes that haven't been spent and too many backboards that haven't been slapped. Wish him some luck. Maybe the Doc will have good news.. like.. Snap, you're a fucking wuss, stop being gay and get back on the court. But I'm never that lucky..

April 2003:
I4.4.4 :: 4.04p
ok I got a little sympathy for my knee but the coolest thing I got was from Dan. Lemme post the e-mail he sent me. He's a poet when he needs to be.
"To me,you were the ultimate sports man. Any one who would smile at the hot corner, speed up noonball, own the cross over that leads to the 10-15' run and gun jumpshot or lay-up, hit a ball out before the homerun bats came along, and show up on sunday little beaver ready to play.
To me, your skills will be the stretch to the Ace bandage, the color added to the sports tape, the cold to the cold pack (that I heard of, the), wrist that a wrist band needs, the ability to play until 1:45 after lunch, the $.75 cents that brings La-si-ta's approval, the $15 to play on a team in Shiprock (the sport you pick), and the knowledge of the healing burn that tiger balm Sensei (Walt) brings. The foot movement of skate's feet, the bat throwing of OJ's wiffle strikeout, the composure of Doc's "off the top of my glove" ahh!, Sony's reinvention of sport fundamentals (a batting stance like Julio Franco?) Jim's crack of a bat to the nearest thing that we have seen to a perfect swing, and lastly, the fellow that could sense your being in every ball you thrown across the diamond. That ball lived on its way to me to my glove. Too bad I just said "good throw", instead of "whoa". I realize now."
Thanks Big Dan. You made my day and had I been a little more emotional.. or gay.. that woulda brought a tear to my eye and a stain to my shorts. (will you have my children?) now on to the REAL news. Got a message from the Doctor.. here's THAT quote.
"after examining your MRI we found that you have a torn ACL, please call us back to discuss your options with the surgeon".
That's right. One of the worse injuries a basketball player can get. So it looks like Snap is going to be throwing sticks at the youngsters in his yard for a while. Where's his sympathy now? heh.

4.6.4 :: 8.15p
There are a LOT of ways of controlling situations, rooms, crowds and of course.. people. Being out here in Missouri I've noticed that things that I find odd are widely accepted. The whole driving SLOWER than the speed limit thing. The whole "jellybeans with a spoon" thing. It's just accepted as the norm. I'm trying to figure out the base reasons for all this. I think I've figured out WHY people out here don't speed.
A few months ago I got a speeding ticket. It sucked, but I really WAS speeding. Oh well.. . that happens. Not my first.. won't be my last. Where I come from, you pay the $60 fine or whatever and move on with your life. OUT HERE however, the people I told asked if I told my lawyer. HAHA, Like I have a lawyer!?!? I don't like Doctors, Lawyers or Mechanics. Anyone who lauds information over me and uses it to squeeze a few more blood dollars out of the working man. (yeah, I know mechanics aren't rich, but they have a bad reputation... sorry bout that). I digress... What DO I need a lawyer for a speeding ticket? I was speeding... they caught me. It's the law I broke. People out HERE however, spend $300 on a lawyer so they don't get points on their license and their insurance isn't affected. (or is it effected? I get the proper grammer mixed up). I understand THAT in the LONG RUN it's CHEAPER to pay $300 up front.
That's not my gripe. My little bitch fest is because after the drop 3 large on some schmuck, they're now SCARED to speed because of what it cost them. It's a briliant economic control mechanism. Make people pay MORE NOW and they will no longer DO IT. Freakin Geniuses! I will end up paying more because I pay my ticket and move on, BUT I'm not worried about SPEEDING anymore now that I was before. My $300 (and more) is now FINANCED over the next few months.. years.. whatever. I refuse to let some FEAR of HAVING to spend $300 keep me from being the speed demon that I am.
Snap is still the one passing you on the left and yelling at the buick to GET OUTTA THE FAST LANE. It's ok to not want a ticket. That's normal. It's not ok to let money control the way you live your life. Or am I wrong.... again?

4.11.4 :: 1.01p
Happy birthday easter bunny! BOK BOK BOK! Hope ya'll are having (or had) a good easter bunny day. Did Jesus come out and see his shadow so we have 4 more weeks of hannukah? Or...errr... something like that. As you can tell.. I don't do the religious easter thing. I don't do religion at all. I DO however believe people should have a FEAR of punishment from whatever they believe in. Not so they're scared and superstitious, but so they believe in fairness and being a decent human being.
What I mean is things like the dreaded "TEN COMMANDMENTS". I can't even read them off from memory but there ARE some decent laws to follow there. Like the 'Do not Kill', 'Steal'... yadda yadda. they don't HAVE to be commandments. How about you just teach ALL people.. 'Don't KILL!'. Not that complicated is it? But when you're PREACHED this crap? for some reason.. it's a lot harder to believe in something when they've got your head back and shoveling into the nearest open cavity. My mind tends to reject that kind of 'teaching'.
Buddha has some good ideas.. Christianity isn't all bad. Muslims have some really good points, but my favorite is still the way I was taught by my native american elders. As much as I hate to say it because it's so TRITE and ClICHE'D (yes, it's the same thing, shaddup).. but I was taught about BALANCE. Anytime we killed a deer or elk, I was taught to tell it thanks. Thanks for giving your life so I can continue mine. When there were feasts, I was taught to drop a little food on the ground, to tell the earth.. thanks for feeding me.
Never take more than you need. Always give more than you can. All animals, trees, insects need us.. as much as we need them. If you need to pray, you don't need a building, you need peace. Being close to the trees and animals is as close as you can get to this 'God'. An old indian guy once told me. "why do I have to listen to someone on a certain day and wait for him to tell me how to pray? Why can't I just walk to the top of the hill and pray?"
I like that one. I like that a lot. Free will is the greatest gift we have. Stop wasting it. Stop waiting for an answer. It's the secret of life ya know... heh.

4.15.4 :: 4.03p
Had a meeting with the surgeon guy today. and he said the words "aggressive rehabilitation". Yeah.. ouch. Sounded scary to me too. I saw a Jessica Simpson video while I was sittin on my ass contemplating my stupid knee. She re-did a the song from the Top Gun soundtrack "take my breath away". I remember dancing to that song when I was in like the 7th grade. heh. Anyway, it got me thinking.
You ever heard a remake and it was actually a nice version? It doesn't happen often. But 'if I was your girlfriend' by TLC was a good prince remake. As was Alicia Keys with 'How come U don't call me anymore'. I REALLY like when a band does a song that licked donkey the first time around. Limp Bizkit on George Michaels 'Faith' is a good example. As is the Ataris on 'Boys of Summer'. The orginal of that wasn't bad, just didn't have an edge. Also really like Joss Stone's version of the white stripes song 'fell in love with a girl'. Then there's the songs that sound EXACTLY like the original. That just isn't cool at all.
I think the artist is just HOPING the generation before will have not heard it and think it's a brilliant piece of work. They do the same thing with movies, (13 going on 30 anyone? or worse yet Fast and the Furious). Like I said, I don't mind someone taking an idea and presenting it in a new way.. but just copy cats can bite me. There's a ton of interpretation when it comes to things like this. There's country stars singing eagles songs. There's rap stars using country hooks. That's why there should NOT be music snobs talking about why a genre of music sucks. Music is music. .. just.. some of it sucks. heh. I hope ya'll know what I'm on about.
Before I go I wanted to give you the funniest thing I heard all week.
Girl 1 "I don't want to do this paper for school, I only have 7 pages and I've run out of things to put on it to make it longer!"
after about 10 mins of complaining and debating the length and content....
Girl 2 "What is the paper about?"
Girl 1 "Effective Written Communication".
ROFLMAO

4.20.4 :: 10.33p
Read today that if you blog you have a category. What category are you? I hate the word blog just because it's so damn unoriginal. It's been done for years and people claim to be doing it since 1983. Well.. internet was hitting BIG TIME around what? 94,95? So they were obviously posting in notebooks and pasting the pages to phone poles and starbucks tables. Hmmm... that's a good idea. Post up pages and glue them to tables at Denny's. It's not like there's anything else to read while you're sitting there waiting for your pancakes with fake fruit filling.
Well, I have some slightly depressing news. Last Friday I went outside and saw this.
yeah, that's right. Someone BROKE my passenger window and TRIED to steal my stereo. So I had to pay for a new window and since they only managed to BREAK my stereo, I'll have to buy a new one. Pretty stupid if you ask me. If you're gonna take the time to smash someone's window.. then you at least owe them the courtesy of stealin SOMETHING. Then again. You know the rules. Say it with me "you don't fuck with another man's automobile". and Blacksox.. you know this line.. repeat after me. "it would've been worth him DOING it, just so I coulda caught him doing it".
I'm goin to bed now. skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet.

\4.29.4 :: 7.14p
Well I'm back from Gathering of Nations and I must say it was a BLAST. Stayed up late, but didn't stay up all NIGHT laughing and drinking like we have before. I missed Sony at the bar. OJ, Dan and Jim after midnight making me laugh at stupid crap that nobody else will find funny. I can feel the change in our lives taking priority and a cosmic shift. But it's all for the better. I think.... sometimes.. but it still stings at times. It's good to see Rubes and Marisa old enough to hang out with us. My little brother was supposed to meet us there, but we're bad at making phone calls. I was able to hang out with Rae and Doc and Bux all at least once. Used to be, we would all hang out together. Now we hang out in sections. Which isn't all bad. Especially when Doc starts babbling incoherently when he's drunk and disorderlied.
There were still GREAT times. Things that made me laugh. Like when I was looking for pants. and couldn't find the right length Bux was walking around asking the employees where the 'Gay clothes' and then said.. 'sorry about the length man.. must be a lot of tall gay guys in albuquerque'. .. yeah.. FOF Bux. Why don't you suck on this and be quick about it. bastard.
Although, not be as funny as Doc's classic. 'If I were to call you Maris, I know you'd answer the phone... because..... that's what you do.... ... .. answer phones". hehe.. my favorite was when he asked 'I wonder if they how big the waters are.(looks at water bottle on counter).. think they're that big?'.
Yeah, Doc made me laugh. I have the pictures for gathering right Here . I wish I had more, but I was too lazy to break out the camera all the time. Some pictures didn't come out too well, so I just erased them. I'm getting my car stereo installed tonight at 8:30 and hoping to have music back in my ride by the AM. Wish me luck peoples. Oh yeah before I leave.. this was BORING ENTRTY!?!? look at the pics. I'll have more biting shit 2morrow. nigte

May 2003
5.2.4 :: 9.27p
Let me start tonight off with saying, I HATE GEORGE BUSH. Yup, I said it. I didn't vote for him. I voted for Gore.. no wait. Bush DIDN'T win the popular vote did he? I believe he won 42% of the entire nation that voted. So saying that I don't like G.W. would AUTOMATICALLY place me in the 57% that does NOT like him. I thought this was a Goddamn democracy. Now they have the MTV 'rock the vote' bus trying to convince me to vote and 'make a difference'? Tell ya what... when you FIX this so called DEMOCRACY, I'll start voting again. Do I REALLY want GW out of office? Will I vote just to satisfy some 3rd grade belief that the teacher will mark my vote with a little line on the chalkboard? Yeah.. probably.

Then again, GW can lose the popular vote and manage to fuck up the economy for another 4 years and REALLY make an already cynical snapmouse even more so. So let me say again, I hate George Bush. The guy who trampled on the treaties signed for native americans. The asshat who wanted to do away with sovereignty of reservations. That's just my personal reasons to dislike the man. There are more social, educational and economic reasons to prove that he's an idiot. There are a lot of things wrong with the way republican blame democrats and democrats try to pin things on the evil repubs like they're controlled by Darth Vader or something. Most of the time it's just a few corrupt high-ups who've forgotten where they come from and are ruled by power and the almighty dollar.

I've always wondered if I were in that positio if I was strong enough to resist the 'old boys club' or the the draw of absolute power. I like to believe I am. Then again, I'm sure they all did at one point. Some people easily lose their way while on their way to the top. Some people have never fought their way to the top. Some people don't know what it's like to be down their last $20. They've never woke themselves up to go to a job they hate. Things like that build character. As stupid as it sounds. A lot of politicians, don't have that character. I say we move them all to the rez, or the hood and let them live like that for a while. Just another idea of mine.

5.7.4 :: 6.19p
Today was NICE and quiet. So I decided to make a list of websites that I always check out. First off, there's Mangoat. That's just full of Links and stories this guy digs up. Also he does the "good Cosplay" and Bad Cosplay. Which I find freakin hilarious. Every friday I go to Something Awful They have photoshop friday which is ALWAYS worth a gander. Oh yeah, and read the movie and game reviews. They make me laugh. Then about once a week I'll check out this kids website. Just because he'll occasionally find something useful. If you REALLY want useful, go on over to Slick Deals . I'm always checkin that place.. at least once a day. Just don't steal all my good deals.

ok, now I want to say something just to piss people off. When it comes to control, WOMEN are SMARTER than men. Yeah, it's a strange thing, but acceptable when you think about it. Women KNOW when to let men THINK they have control over a situation. The whole time it weaves into a more intricate master plan to take over the world with Oprah and Pinky by their side. For example. I was telling some ladies I work with about how my mom can't watch a movie without getting up to do dishes or something. They retorted by saying "well, if SHE doesn't do it, nobody will". See the logic there? We went from watching a movie to nobody doing anything. Slick? Very. Women have this innate ability to make you BELIEVE that ALL they do is done for YOU and it's just HORRIBLE for them. Thus they deserve credit. Back to my example, I don't dispute that yeah, it probably won't get done if she doesn't do it, BUT does it HAVE TO BE done right NOW? Can't it wait 45 more minutes? Well, NO, because if they did it later, then they would stay up late and then be sleepy and it would be all YOUR fault they stayed up late and tired and they still didn't watch the movie and they're so unappreciated and they'll need to go to sleep early the next day but who's gonna DO THE DISHES?!?!...... ahhh.. deep breath. I actually got tired typing that run on sentence. Thus women take this small act of missing a movie and turn it into their own little bunny on a cross so men now feel guilty about watching movies and not doing dishes. Why? Because we're stupid. See? Women are smarter than men.

5|22|4 8.22p
Welcome to the latest incarnation of Snapmouse's homepage. It's been a nice lazy saturday where I sat at home and played Star Wars and City of Heros all Day. For the last few weeks I haven't been able to do that because of my knee surgery. In case nobody's been paying attention, back in Late October of Last year Snap Hurt his knee playing basketball. He went to see a doctor and she told him that it would be more swollen and I'd be in more pain if there was any MAJOR damage. So I took it easy for a few months and one night while shooting around, (still couldn't play), the knee buckled again. That's when I went to a DIFFERENT doctor who sent me for an MRI. There is was decided that I TORE my ACL. (anterior Cruciate Ligament) the tendon inside your knee that keeps it stable. So I had surgery where they take my hamstring and rebuild the whole damn thing. If you're wondering if I sucks. Yes, it does.

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